


Unrequited

by Gigi_Sinclair



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-17
Updated: 2016-12-17
Packaged: 2018-09-09 01:20:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8870188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi_Sinclair/pseuds/Gigi_Sinclair
Summary: For an anon on Tumblr who requested "something about Mitaka." Hux/Mitaka is one-sided/imaginary (to Mitaka's dismay.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Possibly slight canon divergence, since I can't remember where Mitaka was during the Starkiller debacle.

Dopheld Mitaka is attracted to powerful men. He has been since he was old enough to understand what attraction is. A powerful man with a rigid, unforgiving demeanor is even more enticing; a powerful, rigid man with a tall, slender body is the ultimate in allure. 

As soon as Mitaka steps foot in the _Finalizer_ , he knows he's in trouble. 

There's nothing wrong with it, really. The First Order frowns on intimate relationships as distractions, and relationships within the chain of command are strictly forbidden. But Mitaka isn't delusional enough to think anything will ever happen between him and General Hux. It's fine, he thinks, to admire the General from afar, to work hard for him and to live for the rare moments the General says, “Thank you,” or even, “Good job, Mitaka.” If Mitaka jerks off nearly every night to mental images of his commanding officer, that's nobody's business but his own. It's innocent. Mitaka would never say or do anything to make the General the least bit uncomfortable. He has an excellent understanding of what “appropriate conduct” entails. 

Unlike Lord Ren. 

If General Hux fills Mitaka's dreams, then Lord Ren is the stuff of nightmares. Mitaka isn't afraid of him, exactly, but he finds him off-putting in the extreme. The mask, for one thing, makes Mitaka ill at ease. Criminals wear masks, as do those with something to hide. While gossip is rampant about what, exactly, Ren is hiding beneath his mask, Mitaka doesn't care to speculate. There's no possible answer that would make him happier to be in the man's presence. 

Worse than the mask is the horrifically disrespectful way in which Lord Ren treats the General. The first time Mitaka heard him bark at General Hux, he had to stifle a gasp of shock. For Lord Ren, a man of no apparent value to the ship or, indeed, to anyone whatsoever, to speak as if the esteemed General were a common grunt is inexcusable. The General, of course, is easily capable of defending himself, but that's not the point. Mitaka longs to tell Lord Ren exactly what he thinks of him. Since that opportunity will never arise, he also longs for the day Lord Ren leaves the ship for good. 

Today is not that day. As Mitaka comes onto the bridge, Lord Ren is already there, lounging in a corner, his legs splayed indecently. When Mitaka passes him, he half-expects Lord Ren to block his way, like a schoolyard bully. He lets Mitaka by, but Mitaka can feel him looking behind that stupid mask, staring as Mitaka takes his place at his station. 

“The ship is moving too slowly,” Lord Ren announces, as Mitaka sits. 

“Would you care to get out and push?” General Hux suggests. Mitaka hides his smile. 

“I would care for you to go faster. We're going to be ancient by the time we get there.”

“We are travelling at an appropriate speed. If you're bored, you can always get off my bridge and find something useful to do with your time.” 

“You!” Lord Ren ignores the General and addresses Corporal Kenjo. She freezes in place. Mitaka's heart goes out to her. “Get this thing moving.” 

“You will refrain from speaking to my men, Lord Ren.” 

“May I remind you, General, that I am co-commander of this vessel? This is not _your_ bridge, and they are not _your_ men.” Lord Ren's head whips around suddenly. He faces Mitaka. Mitaka pretends not to notice, although his palms begin to sweat, and his hand slips off his screen. _Don't panic_ , he tells himself. There's no proof Lord Ren is even looking at him. That ridiculous mask makes it impossible to tell where his gaze lies. 

Lord Ren makes a strange, strangled noise. It takes Mitaka a moment to realize he's laughing. “Except that one.” The sound grows louder. He points a gloved finger at Mitaka. “That one's _your man_. Or he'd like to be.” Mitaka is going to die, right here, at this moment. 

General Hux sighs. “Go away, you imbecile. I'll have someone call you when we get there.” 

Mitaka doesn't expect Lord Ren to comply, but he does. With another laugh and a swish of his robes, he leaves the bridge. Mitaka swallows around the large, hard lump that has suddenly formed in his throat. “Let's get back to work,” General Hux says. A few moments later, as he passes Mitaka's station, the General pauses and says, “You did well with those calculations the other day, Mitaka. Very helpful.” 

He moves on, but that is more than enough to reverse Mitaka's mood completely. Buoyed, he throws himself back into his work and refuses to think about Lord bloody Ren. 

“They used to do it.” Lieutenant Carmar says later, as she and Mitaka sit down to lunch in the officers' mess. “The General and Lord Ren, I mean.”

“Do what?” Mitaka arrived at the head of the line just as they put out a batch of fresh black oiled noodles, so his plate is steaming hot. That, coupled with his favourite vanilla pudding for dessert, means the day is going from strength to strength.

“You know.” Carmar glances around, although it's only the two of them at the table. Petty Officer Thannison joins them sometimes, but he's off shift today. In Mitaka's deepest fantasies, General Hux would come in one day, Carmar and Thannison would disappear and Mitaka would dazzle the General with his witty conversation and exquisite table manners. It will never happen. The General never eats in the officers' mess. “Sex.” 

“What?” 

“It's true! Wendel told me. He's been here forever, you know that.” 

“That doesn't make him reliable.” Mitaka takes a forkful of oiled noodles. Idle, impossible gossip is not going to ruin his meal. 

“He says Lord Ren didn't used to be here all the time. He used to come and go. Sometimes, he'd be gone for months on end.” Sounds like paradise to Mitaka. “Wendel says when Lord Ren had been gone a long time, the General used to get really worked up. Then, when Lord Ren came back, the General would always meet him in the shuttle bay. They'd disappear for a while, and all of a sudden the General would be relaxed again.” Carmar smirks. “As relaxed as he ever is, anyway.” 

“That doesn't mean they were...” Mitaka suddenly understands Carmar's desire for discretion. He lowers his voice. “Having sex.” The idea of Lord Ren touching General Hux is ludicrous. The General would never allow it. Mitaka refuses to imagine Lord Ren's huge, gloved hands on the General's delicate, pale skin, his big, helmeted head on the pillow beside the General's...

“What do you think Lord Ren has under those robes?” Carmar wonders. “One of the Troopers in TK division thinks it's a bifurcated dick. Maybe the General's freaky like that." Before Mitaka can leap to the General's defense, Carmar goes on, "Wendel's pretty sure they aren't doing it any more, but he doesn't know why they stopped. It would explain the way they're always fighting, though. I don't think...”

“Shut up!” Mitaka orders. Carmar blinks. “Sorry,” he says. “Sorry. I just don't want to talk about that, okay?” 

“Okay. Fine.” They eat in silence. Mitaka forces himself to swallow the noodles, even though his stomach suddenly hurts. After a long, quiet moment, Carmar says, “Wendel told me Phasma once did it with a Wookiee.” 

Lord Ren, thankfully, doesn't make another appearance on the bridge that afternoon. After his shift, Mitaka goes back to the quarters he shares with Lieutenant Naryce. They aren't particular friends, although they aren't particular enemies, either. They co-exist. Mitaka is pleased when the screen on their wall tells him Naryce is on duty until 0600. Mitaka takes off his uniform and sits at their shared desk. 

He wants to progress in the ranks. He wants to impress the General and move forward, but with that comes the possibility he will one day be transferred away from the _Finalizer_. The idea of leaving gives Mitaka heartburn, but at the same time, he knows he can't stall his career because he has a crush on his CO. Sometimes, he imagines a situation in which he and General Hux meet again after some time apart, perhaps when Mitaka has been named second in command of a smaller vessel. Mitaka might be making a presentation at a big, Order-wide briefing when General Hux approaches him, to tell him how much he admires Mitaka's work.

“I always knew there was something special about you,” the General says, proudly. He's dressed in full uniform, including his medals and his leather gloves. “I could tell, even back on the _Finalizer_.” 

“Thank you, sir,” Mitaka replies. “I learned everything I know from you.”

“Is that so?” General Hux smiles. Under the briefing room lights, his red hair is even more stunning. “Well, Commander Mitaka, there are a few other things I've wanted to teach you. If I may?”

“Of course, sir.”

General Hux kisses softly, at odds with his sharp tongue and stiff manner. Mitaka allows his arms to go around the General's waist, and the General puts his hands on Mitaka's shoulders. Mitaka sinks into him. They kiss, right there in the briefing hall, over and over, their tongues exploring each other's mouths and unable to keep their hands off one another. “I've waited so long for this.” Mitaka breathes against the General's lips. 

“So have I,” the General admits. “Oh, Mitaka.”

“Oh, sir.” 

“Mitaka.” The General is out of breath. He pulls away, slightly, not moving his hand from Mitaka's shoulder. “There's something I must tell you.”

“Yes, sir. Anything.” Mitaka is growing hard, but it's a pleasant sensation rather than an urgent one.

The General looks at him, holding Mitaka's gaze with his captivating green eyes. “Mitaka,” he sighs again, and the name sounds like an endearment. “Lord Ren has a bifurcated dick.” 

Mitaka snorts himself awake. He doesn't know how long he's been asleep, but it's long enough to get drool on his datapad and a crick in his neck from lying awkwardly on the desk. He sits up, rolling his shoulders. _I need to start eating lunch with someone else_ , he thinks. He pushes the datapad into the desk drawer and stumbles into his bunk.

***

Starkiller is a thing of such beauty, it brings tears to Mitaka's eyes. General Hux gives the order to fire and, just like that, entire civilizations wink out of existence. It's stirring, moving in the best of ways. Mitaka's heart is so full he can't keep quiet.

“Sir,” he says, as the General turns away from the window. General Hux is smiling a little. He has a right to. “Sir, I think you're brilliant.” It borders on gushing. Mitaka might be embarrassed, later, but for now, all he feels is exhilarated. 

The General looks at him. “Thank you, Mitaka.” Then, he does something unheard of. He pulls off his glove and holds out his hand. 

Mitaka stands, stupidly, for a moment before he realizes he's meant to shake it. An electric current runs up Mitaka's arm when his skin makes contact with the General's. He's never touched him before, beyond very rare “accidental” brushes as they move about the bridge. General Hux is surprisingly warm. His skin is soft, but his grip is firm, and he shakes Mitaka's hand briskly. It only lasts an instant—later, Mitaka will still worry that he held on too long—but it sets Mitaka's heart racing even faster, so fast that he wonders, briefly, if he might need to go to the medbay. _Death by handshake_ , he thinks, rolling his eyes at himself as the General moves on. Still, Mitaka has never been so gloriously, wonderfully, entirely happy.

As usual, it doesn't last. In a matter of days, everything is falling apart, literally as well as figuratively, and the General is nowhere to be found. 

“Even Hux has gone!” Someone says, and Mitaka is torn. Of course he wants the General to be safe, and this place is currently the opposite of safe, but he knows the General would never abandon them. _So where is he?_ Mitaka asks himself, as he directs junior officers toward the escape shuttles.

Then, suddenly, General Hux is there, striding toward Mitaka. He's even paler than usual. “You're with me,” he says to Mitaka, without stopping. 

“Yes, sir.” Mitaka follows him without a second thought. 

The ground shakes and heaves beneath them. Loud cracks split the air, the sound of a planet caving in on itself. A tree root springs up in Mitaka's path and he stumbles. The General catches him, his hand tight around Mitaka's bicep. “There he is!” The General shouts over the noise. Mitaka has no idea who they're looking for. 

When they find him, Mitaka still doesn't know. It's a man, fairly young, dressed in black with thick dark hair. He's horrifically injured. Blood is seeping from a wound in his side, dyeing the snow around him. A wide, rough laceration runs across half the man's face, down his neck and onto his shoulder. He doesn't appear to be conscious, which, Mitaka reflects, is probably a good thing for him. 

“You fucking bastard,” the General mutters, looking at the body on the ground. “How could you do this to me?” His eyes flick to Mitaka. “I need you to help me lift him.” 

“Yes, sir.” Mitaka moves to the man's feet. The boots are oddly familiar. General Hux moves the man into a sitting position and, as he puts his arms around the man's chest, the truth hits Mitaka, right between the eyes. “It's Lord Ren.” The words slip out. General Hux isn't listening.

“Ready?” The General asks. Mitaka nods, dazed. Together, they lift Lord Ren, just as another fissure bursts into being behind them. 

On the shuttle, Mitaka can't help but stare. Lord Ren is laid out on one of the benches. General Hux sits at his head, holding a pad of bandages against Ren's side to stem the bleeding. Mitaka is across from them, trying not to gawk while knowing he's completely failing at it. 

He's just a man. Despite all the rumours, despite all the speculation, Lord Ren is just a normal man. Not an alien, not disfigured—at least not before now—nothing gruesome or frightening. He even looks helpless, lying there unconscious on the long shuttle bench. 

The General discards the soiled bandages and picks up another wad from the medikit. An unhappy frown creases his forehead, and Mitaka knows that General Hux is not just upset about the fate of his Starkiller. “Thank you for your assistance, Mitaka,” the General says, as he presses the new, clean bandages to Lord Ren's side. Immediately, they're stained as red as the last ones.

“I'd do anything for you, sir.” _I love you._ Mitaka licks his lips against the dry air of the shuttle. “It's not your fault. Any of it.” Insubordinate, perhaps. Inappropriate, certainly, but Mitaka has to say it. “You are an excellent commander.” 

“Let's hope Supreme Leader Snoke shares your views,” General Hux replies. They ride the rest of the way in silence. 

Ren does not return to the _Finalizer_. Mitaka wonders, sometimes, if he's dead, but of course he would never ask the General that. General Hux does come back, after just a few days away, but he's different. 

It's not obvious. He's as ruthless as ever, easily putting down the little rebellions against First Order rule that spring up in the wake of the Resistance's success with Starkiller. Casual observers, those who haven't spent as much time watching General Hux as Mitaka has, would likely not know the difference. Mitaka can see it. General Hux's heart isn't in things the way it used to be. He's discouraged, maybe, or depressed. Mitaka wishes he could comfort him, reach out to him and tell him again just how much faith they all have in him, but he stays silent. Instead, Mitaka works harder than ever, ensuring the General only ever hears good news from him. In his free time, when he used to study, Mitaka scours astronomical map after astronomical map, hoping to one day present the General with the perfect location for Starkiller II. That, Mitaka thinks, will be the most sincere possible expression of his admiration. 

***

Weeks change into months, and before Mitaka knows it, a year has passed. Despite his preoccupation, Mitaka has managed to earn a promotion to Lieutenant Commander. The ceremony is small. Mitaka wouldn't have wanted anything bigger; the person who matters is there. Glowing with pride, Mitaka accepts his new stripes from the General and salutes him. 

“Lieutenant Commander Mitaka,” the General says. “You're a very valued member of my team.” The words echo in Mitaka's head for days. They even ooze into his dreams, where General Hux gasps them orgasmically as he comes into Mitaka's eager mouth, his gloved hands gripping Mitaka's hair. 

Fourteen months after the Starkiller disaster, Mitaka is on the bridge when an unidentified shuttle comes into view. He switches on his headset. 

“Ship at bearing 654.2, please identify.” No reply. A little shiver, excitement and anxiety in equal measures, begins to crawl up Mitaka's spine. “Ship at bearing 654.4, please identify,” he repeats. Still nothing. He is about to scramble a team of TIE fighters, as per protocol, when there's a hiss of static and a voice says, “It's me.” 

He knows who it is. Only one person would be so arrogant, so full of his own self-importance. “Ship at bearing 654.6, please identify,” Mitaka says. He is not going to play along.

An audible sigh. “Kylo Ren of the Knights of Ren.” Automatically, Mitaka's chest constricts at the name. _No_ , he tells himself. _I've seen him. He's nothing._ “Do I have permission to dock, Lieutenant Commander Mitaka?” Mitaka doesn't wonder how he knows about the promotion. It doesn't matter. 

“I'll have to ask the General,” Mitaka replies. 

General Hux is on the other side of the bridge, talking with Captain Phasma. Mitaka takes his time getting there, then hovers discreetly, waiting for him to finish his conversation. When the General turns to him, Mitaka says, “Lord Ren requests permission to dock with the ship.” 

It's subtle. Again, anybody else—Carmar or Wendel or Naryce—wouldn't likely notice it, but Mitaka does. The General's eyebrow cocks ever so slightly, and he straightens his already-straight uniform. “Permission granted. I'll meet him in the shuttle bay.” He turns. Mitaka has only seen him move that quickly once before, when the planet was collapsing around them and everyone was on the edge of death. 

Mitaka is not a stupid man. That much is obvious from his Academy grades, his placement on the _Finalizer_ and his thusfar short but already illustrious career. He possesses social intelligence, as well. General Hux is absent from the bridge for the rest of the shift, and Mitaka doesn't delude himself that's because he's getting mission briefings from the Supreme Leader. Mitaka doesn't want to picture it, but he can't stave off the mental images. The General and Ren in bed, kissing. Ren's wide mouth around the General's no doubt elegant, attractive cock. Ren and the General fucking. It's a profanity Mitaka doesn't generally care to use, but he can think of no better way to describe what must be happening. The word conjures up images of animalistic grunting and rutting against walls. The General doesn't deserve to be treated that way, but a man—a beast—like Ren surely knows no other. 

Mitaka doesn't feel like going back to his quarters after the shift ends. Naryce is on gamma shift, which means he might be home. Mitaka isn't in the mood for strained small talk or awkward silence. Instead, he goes to the upper level observation deck. It's normally quiet at this time of day. Mitaka likes it, on occasion. He enjoys staring out at the stars and remember how he used to look up at the night sky as a boy and wish, beyond anything, that one day he'd be up there among them. It reminds him why he's here. It comforts him. Today, Mitaka needs some comfort. 

He doesn't expect anyone to be there, let alone Lord Ren and General Hux. In all his time aboard the _Finalizer_ , Mitaka has never seen Hux off-duty, and he's looked. Mitaka freezes, an apology at the ready, but they're both facing the large windows, their backs to the door. Neither of them appears to see him. Mitaka knows he should go, at once, but his feet disobey the order. Instead, they shuffle him into a hidden alcove beside the doorway. 

The room is full of plush couches, at least as plush as the First Order gets, but both Ren and General Hux are standing. They're not touching—Mitaka is grateful for that—but they are side-by-side. Lord Ren isn't wearing his helmet. From this angle, Mitaka can't see how badly his wounds have scarred over. 

“I have something for you,” Ren says, suddenly. He reaches into his robes and, like a magician, produces a grey box. 

“What is it?” General Hux takes the box. 

“The skulls of your enemies.” Mitaka's eyes grow wide. 

“What?” The box slips. The General catches it just in time.

“You asked for them. Remember? I had to grind them down a bit to get them all in there.” 

“That, ah, that might have been hyperbole...”

Ren gives his snuffling laugh. Does he have a sense of humour? Mitaka never suspected it. At least, not a sense of humour that doesn't involve humiliating passers-by. “Open it.”

It's not ground down skulls. It's a transparisteel cube. In the middle, seemingly suspended in nothing, is a ball of glowing light. Mitaka frowns, interested, as the General turns the cube around, peering at it. 

“It's a star,” Ren says. “I made it.” _What?_ Mitaka blinks.

“You...” General Hux sounds as incredulous as Mitaka feels.

“It's real,” Ren goes on. “But it's a bit small, I know. I thought you could keep it on your desk. Or something.” Ren clears his throat, suddenly sounding embarrassed. “It's, ah, symbolic.” Ren drops to his knees, so abruptly Mitaka wonders if he's somehow been injured. Mitaka moves back, further into the shadows. 

“For fuck's sake, someone could come in here,” General Hux hisses. Ren ignores him. 

“I pledge myself to you,” Ren says. The words have a stagey quality, as if he's rehearsed them. “Forever. One day, I will give you the galaxy.” 

“Have you lost your mind?” The General asks. Mitaka was wondering that himself. “What about Snoke?” 

Ren gets up. “If it comes down to it, I'll stand with you over him. I promise.” 

“'If it comes down to it'? What's going on? Ren, I--” 

Ren kisses him. It's everything Mitaka never wanted to see. Ren puts his arms around the General, pulling him in close. The General's hands go to Ren's burly shoulders, then disappear into his hair, which is thicker and even more unruly than the last time Mitaka saw him. 

Mitaka would have expected it the kiss to be rough, uncouth like Lord Ren himself. Instead, Ren's mouth seems to move softly, kissing the General not with brute force but with gentleness. Even—dare Mitaka think it—with love. 

“You're an idiot,” General Hux says breathlessly, when he pulls away. But his voice is affectionate. Mitaka's never heard it like that. 

_And I never will._ The realization should hurt Mitaka, maybe, but it's not like it's a new thought. The General's feelings were clear when he and Mitaka brought Lord Ren back from the dying planet. All this does is confirm that Lord Ren feels the same way. That's good. Ren doesn't deserve the General, but nobody deserves the General. As long as the General is with someone who appreciates his worth, then Mitaka can be satisfied. Not happy, particularly, but at least satisfied. 

Mitaka's always been attracted to powerful men. _And maybe_ , he thinks, as he slips quietly away, _one day I'll find one._ After all, if even Lord Ren can find love, then surely there is hope for everyone.


End file.
